Aluminum Anniversary

Today marks 10 years of marriage for Mr.Schulz and I. In 15 years we have never wavered, not once. That is not to say we haven't been tested, but never have we entertained the thought of calling it quits. Its easy to stay together when life hands you rainbows and sausages. It is when things are low that a relationship is tested. I for one stand firm in the belief that if you throw in the towel during those times instead of leaning in together and pushing back you will never last. You are not meant to be.

Mr.S tells me from the moment I approached to take his order of a smothered chicken sandwich sans bun with a side of baked beans at the Hooters on the end of Midland street in Bay City Michigan at table # 36 on May 5th 2002. Wearing white scrunchie socks, tiny orange shorts and a cleavage baring white tank top that it was love. 

Maybe it was the add a size bra (hey! I weighed 120 lbs)  a garment in which he still speaks of and the shock it revealed with its removal. Maybe it was the in intoxicating scent of wing sauce that lay heavy in the spring air. Maybe it was the orange shorts that left little to the imagination. Maybe it was a combination of all those things. However he maintains otherwise, and has always stood firm that he knew from that one chance encounter it was love.

I was going on hour 10 of slinging wings and beer. My patience along with my control top hose were reaching their limits for the day. I reeked of hot sauce mixed with sweat and perfume likely Davidoff Cool Water. The guests at his table repeatedly asked me to join them out afterwards at the club known at the time as The Empire. I declined. Aside from being dog tired I didn't have club clothes with me that night . All I wanted to do was to slip into the blue jeans and black tee shirt that awaited me in the duffle bag in my locker and head for home. Later I was to learn that those blue jeans along with witty deflections of flirtatious comments with flippant disregard, and the convincing tale I often told about matching scars on my neck and shoulder which painted a picture of a mysterious past that included being held at knife point burned an impression so vivid and colorful in Mr.S's brain that it forced him into Hooters for 2 consecutive weeks of bad food in search of the redhead with the nickname Red Dog aka Red and the knife point scars. 

Just then a co-worker (shout out to Chandra) walked in and joined the table with Mr.S and company. There must have been some discussion with her to convince me to join them afterwards for a beer. This time I accepted. I figured they must not be all that bad and there's safety in numbers. It was approaching the magic hour in server-dom known as the "cut".  The guests at table #36 then spread throughout the tables in my section a dirty little trick to make it appear my section was full so that no one could be seated in it thereby allowing me to complete my side work and leave should I be cut.

The other Hooter Girls along with myself gathered at the bar to draw napkins that revealed our fate. Stay or go? Its funny to me when I think back of all the tiniest of things the universe sets into motion to lead us down our path.

I cant say I remember much from that night, and it wasn't because I drank too much. I was just so damned tired.I remember walking into the club as a group so they must have waited for me. The place was pretty dead and smelled of stale beer. I ordered a Bud Light for myself. I didn't stay long. I recall mostly chatting with the guys and Mr.S taking my Bic and telling me that I shouldn't smoke. I had no idea that over the course of the next two weeks Mr.S showed up at Hooters looking for me. On his final approach the universe weaved her magic once more, and as he pushed open the doors he said to  himself, "If she isn't here this time, it isn't meant to be." The rest as they say is history. Water under Vets bridge if you will.

Is it possible for 15 years to feel both like a long time and just yesterday?  I remember in the beginning thinking that this guy was too good for me. Coming off years of abusive relationships its easy to start to believe you deserve the hurt. By August we were living together and we've never looked back. 

We've been through some shit. I am not an easy person to deal with. Honestly I can barely stand myself at times so I have no idea how this man does it.  Ive got a pretty haunting past and while I may appear hardened on the inside I'm quite broken. Mr.S has always believed in me even when I didn't. He is the rock of our family. Always pushing forward. Always striving to see the silver lining when I cant. Always allowed me to screw up and always taken care of me when I did. We've experienced loss and seen life redefine itself in a major way. Not in the least way most recently the last 4 years with the birth of our boys and John hanging up the gloves. If you think that having gone through your life being your own boss and defining yourself one way only to give it all up to punch a clock rather than a person doesn't cause one to encounter a serious reflection of themselves and a struggle to redefine their sense of self you would be wrong. We've lost businesses, babies and fights. We've struggled, but always managed. We've learned, laughed and cried together. We've made humans together and entered what can only be described as the most core quaking, self doubt invoking, stress inducing, highest of highs lowest of lows experience a person can endure with another person.

Marriage is the hardest thing I have ever done, but nothing that comes easily is ever worth having. Is it? I have a person who loved me at first sight. I have a person who tells me every day that I am loved, and that I am beautiful. My person will always defend me even if he thinks I am wrong. Ill spend the rest of my life with a person who encourages me to be the best and who will stand at my side when I am not. In my corner I have a person who knows my faults and because of them or in spite of them loves me anyways.

We are all we have. Three gingers and a John Herbert. 

In the words of Cypress Hill "When the shit goes down you better be ready."  Well folks the shit has gone down and will likely continue to do so in a myriad of ways, but as long as I stand with my best friend, my husband I will be ready.